Does God really love me?
But why? Why am I being rewarded like this? Is it because I often leave him? Am i that bad?
Very arrogant. Just asking the questions above has become a form of my neglect of the majesty of God who chooses the world and everything in it. Am I that bad? Until it feels like happiness refuses to come to me? Am I too grandiose to ask for something?
God, am I that bad? Isn't there a little happy left for me? Am I that insulted? God....do I not deserve a glimmer of peace and tranquility in my soul? I miss that.
God? Am I that bad? Can my apologizes be accepted? Have I never been sincere with my good? Was my good all this time are not good enough? Was what I actually did while I was alive wasn't good? But the fulfillment of the demands of the world around me?
God, I didn't kill....I didn't commit adultery....I didn't hurt other people on purpose either?
Am I disobedient to God? Am I wrong to blame my mother when she cheated on my family? Should I just shut up and let it go? God? Am I wrong for pushing the truth that I believe in? Then what should i do then? People out there said I was bad for yelling at my mom? Should I just shut up? God, am I that bad?
Am I not entitled to a glimmer of calm and peace in my soul?
God, can everything just stop if I don't have any benefit in me anymore? If myself doesn't has any beneficial in life, can i just die? God, what should I do? Did I really agree to be born on earth back then before it all started? Why is it like this, God? What have I done to be rewarded like this?
God, am I that bad?
Can it all end?
I'm tired.
